Birthday and Anniversary

I don't usually talk bout the tragedy that had happened on our family this date. But now, I know I had become strong through the years, my tears no longer fall whenever the topic arises. I can declare that I had moved on, had escaped the doom world that I had blanketed me for years.

It has not become easy for me to accept the event, it happened so unexpectedly. Within 48 hours, we no longer have the person whom we call Mama. The event is still vivid in my memories even the 5 years had passed.

I had just arrived from summer school in the city in preparation for my college education. I went home to pick up my things and to have my Mom accompany me as I travel back the next day. She was so excited for me that she busied herself with the preparation. I am the first in my clan to go to this prestigious school that's why everyone has things on hand, the typical scene when someone is going somewhere. Someone is packing, preparing the delicacies, buying what I need for the 5-month stay and all. Suddenly, my Mom went inside complaining bout the back of her neck. After a few seconds, she vomitted and became unconcious. We called for help from our neighbors and carried her to the hospital. After diagnosing her, the doctor's declared that she's clinically dead (her breathing is dependent on the machines attached to her) and they can't know how to revive her because they can't perform test while she's at that condition. We haven't lose hopes. At midnight, we found ourselves inside a van, trailing the ambulance that will carry our Mom to the advanced hospital two hours away from our place. Then morning comes yet still my Mom's condition haven't changed, still in the ICU, hemorrhage in the brain. After few moments of greeting her a Happy Birthday, the doctors pulled the plug. The ward becomes cold, everybody is hysterical, and my Mom exited the hospital through the backdoor.

We are back in the van, travelling back home, classes start tomorrow, and the van reached the funeral home. We chose the coffin and prepared our ancestral house for the wake.

My Mom's 15 siblings were all present, some had arrived from abroad. As I look at her death certificate, the time of death was 8:03am, the same date that she was born only five minutes short. I was amazed to see that God had let her live at 57 years close.

I am now 22. I had finished with recognition the degree my Mom wanted me to take up. Her teachings are always with us as we deal with life. We can't never forget the good side of this event.

As you read this, please pray for her, God knows who.

Gadgets Cause Pain

Unexpectedly, my Kubuntu and Ubuntu CDs arrived yesterday, after I had successfully installed windows. It was shipped last May 17 and I was expecting it at mid-July because it says 8 weeks. I had desperately wanted an OS last Thursday since I reformatted my laptop and the OS installation always fails. It turns off halfway the installation of Windows and the Ubuntu Gibbon live CD I had downloaded way back before won't boot. I discovered that I had burned some Linux such as Puppy, Freespire, Zenwalk and Gibbon but only Puppy (thanks to this tiny distro) loaded in my laptop, the others won't even give me the installation mode.

My lappy got infected by Win32 virus though I was able to remove the virus, the OS got messed up and repairing Windows won't solve the services.exe and explorer.exe errors. The problem got worse last Wednesday and it won't even load the Windows splash screen. So, I decided to reformat it and use the Puppy Linux to retrieve the files (I don't know the technical way of retrieving files from the hard disk so I used a 2GB USB to transfer the files to my sis lappy).

I had my sister working with me so that she can learn how to backup, format and install a new OS. Maybe she's a jinx that time. When I worked alone on the night, I had successfully installed the Windows.

While I am busy with the installation, she was playing NBA Live in PSP and was serious to learn the game. After hours of playing, she came to me complaining bout the unresponsive PSP. I tried to restart the thing but it's still on the same state. Then I go to the Recovery Menu and accidentally selected the format flash 1. The PSP is back to it's default setting and I can't even know if the CFW is still functioning (PSP is still unresponsive).

Now, I was able to boot up the Gibbon through Wubi and tested the two OS that I received. None had run fine with my 256 mb RAM. I need to buy a higher one. I was looking at tipidpc.com but with no success.

New Beginnings...

Today, I made a tough decision for my future. I decided to accept a teaching position in a rural area far from my place. I have exchanged my comfy lifestyle to help in the development of young minds. (Naks! Parang politician).

The place is up in the mountains where the green meadows and trees are the common views for the eye. I still have my work under the Department of Education today but in a week's time I will be transferring to my High School Alma Mater. I have accepted the job since I want to experience and discover if I can be an effective teacher. As you had read my post on A View on Death, I was thinking of going into the academe but opportunities will not permit me. And now, it comes my way. But I still doubted about it when I heard the location in which I will be assigned because that means my internet usage will be shortened to weekends only (the time I have to go home), my access to the department stores and supermarkets will also be during the weekends only, I have to supply myself with bottled drinking water due to the scarcity of potable one in that campus, I will have to eat my meals in carenderia because no one will be cooking for me, I need to rent a house or live along with other boarders and of course I have to travel long hours every Friday just to be back in civilization.

I don't worry much of how I will handle a class. It's my first time and I feel that I should be thinking about the class once I get to see the students and the classroom facilities. I also have to study the lessons that I am going to teach. And of course, I need to get along with my colleagues.

During my interview, the very first question that was asked bout me is: Will you permit a teacher-student relationship or will you agree to your students if they are trying to court you?
My answer is of course NO. I don't like the picture.

Save the Nation through the Oblation
For the figure of a naked man, arms outstretched and face pointed upwards, symbolizing selfless dedication and for the service to the nation. The symbol that depicts the desire for knowledge ("clothe me with knowledge"). We'll make Mamang Oble proud!

Pray for my safety and guidance that I can surpass this challenge successful. And in the end, may I be able to decide if I will renew my contract for more teaching semesters.

Gonna Try Linux

I just recently ordered a free copy of the new Ubuntu Jaunty Jackalope and Kubuntu from shipit.unbuntu.com. They said if you can go away with this OS, you have an advantage in programming so, I want to try gaining an advantage. My programming background was only in VBasic and our stat softwares. I had been applying these learning in the HTML programming on which I have no knowledge to start off. But since it's only a question of what has to follow and what are produced with the commands, I think I can have a grip of it in time.

Shipit will take at most 6 weeks for the CDs to arrive. I don't mind it as long as I can have the CD. Also, I am still learning In-Design and Flash making so, that won't be a problem. Doing the self-education is not that kind of hard if there are examples to imitate.

One problem for me is, these OS requires higher RAM and large memory space. So, I think I have to upgrade because I want to have Ubuntu in virtual drive, Linux and Windows in one laptop.

Google PIN

The postman had just delivered my google PIN, wohoo! Google Adsense is really not a bogus. I requested my PIN last April 29, so it only takes 2 weeks to reach my country. Actually, I am not earning much from my blogs due to minimal traffic. Two dollars for a day is big enough for me. I won't reveal my earnings for now. But once I be able to know how to boost up my traffic to like a thousand a day, I will present an analysis of the revenues.
Help me spread my blogs by referring them to me. I am working on putting up more reviews on products. I will try that formula.

For the One Proud Mama

It's Mother's Day!

The day to express our gratefulness to the ones who bear us in their wombs for 9 months. It's time to show them your love (if you haven't done it for sometime) and it's the day to give your Mom a break (treat her to some good restaurants or just enjoy the day with her).

To my Mom up there, Thank you. You are the reason of who I am today. My guide may have gone forever, but she had set the path I am walking right now. It's now my part to lead this path successful and learn the things that may come up along the way.

Happy Mother's Day to all our Mamas!

Til Death

How do you look at death? I had seen one, I had touched a corpse. Dealing with death and the dead are the ways for doctors, forensics, nurses, embalmers or funeral homes. It had been their routine to explore the body of people who once walked this earth. Did they ever see this thing happen to them? What can be the caused of their death? They say people will all die and they differ only on the time elements. People die young and some die at old age. People cry for them for a while but given enough time, they move on. But as they keep going on with life, they do forget. The “I will never forget you, our memories will stay within me forever” is not really forever. Time changes things and our minds keep replacing memories. So, how sure are you that if you die you had touched other’s life, that you had been a part of them? How can you really be sure that all your works here on earth have at some point change the lives of the ones you had been with? When in fact, your death will alter everything you had worked for. Now that you are not with them, how can you say to them that they had to go on and never mind your going? Yes, you had touched their lives but I think they had become dependent on you and your absence made them inefficient. They had lost their hope because you had been seeing the future with them. Now, they can’t go on with the plans for Death had taken you so sudden. So what they do? They move on as what everybody had been telling them the right thing to do. For a while, they put their mind in your mind setting and later on they had to follow their own for they can’t see things the way you had seen them.

Everything will fall apart as time moves on and as the wounds are being healed. The once small part of you in them will slowly be gone. So, what’s really is our role here if things will all disappear with time? To touch other’s lives or to just pass this stage of eternity? On judgment day, we may stand next to the ones we love but I think we will recognize each other as the person from the past. What we’ll be doing that time is praising and rejoicing to eternity. All of us will be one family and we will start all over again; the loving, the caring and the happiness of being alive forever. I once think of my own eulogy then I think twice about it. Eulogies are only praises and gratefulness of people around you.

Eulogies are made to preserve and boost the image that we will mark on the mind of people we once had been with. It may be how the way we died or the way we had been as a person. Everything good for they want to thrive more on positive thoughts. People hate nightmares! And even if they don’t want negative thoughts, they can get rid of it through time. I kept on thinking that I will die young, around thirties, yet I am not taking moves on how I can change the lives of people around me. I had been a person who once was touched by someone who had changed my life and it was through death that I was able to realize that everything had been useless. I was sliding down and at the same time losing the memories of a life filled with sunshine. I had been to this stage and I proved that it isn’t our goal to inflict something good to others. Our only role here is to enjoy our stay! And enjoying life can be done in different ways and touching lives is only a part of it. But we are not to split our lives with others for life is good when we are whole. It is not about giving a part of us to others but it is about sharing the moment of laughters and tears when we are still a whole.